Coping with Social Anxiety as a College Student: Tips from an Anxiety Therapist
Starting college is an exciting time, but it can also be nerve-wracking. You're making new friends, going out to socialize, and maybe even giving presentations in class. For some people, this can be really tough - especially if you're struggling with social anxiety. If this sounds like you, you are not alone. And, there are ways to cope so you can fully enjoy your college experience despite your anxiety.
College Isn't Easy for Anyone
Everyone finds college stressful at first: the social aspects, the academic rigor, the freedom (and lack thereof). It's normal to feel like you're not quite sure what you're doing or where you fit in.
Yet, Starting College Can be Terrifying if You Struggle with Social Anxiety
First of all, please know you're not alone. In fact, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States. Social Anxiety Disorder specifically, impacts about 7% of the population.
If you are starting college and have social anxiety, you might find yourself avoiding situations that make you anxious. For example, going out with new people, speaking up in class, or joining an activity or sport you're interested in.
But avoidance only makes things worse in the long run. When you avoid things that make you anxious, you feel worse and have more anxiety about them as time goes on. And let's face it, avoiding social situations won't help you make the most of your college experience.
Tips for Coping with Social Anxiety as You Start College
Right now, you're probably wondering what does work for balancing your social anxiety with having a great college experience. Here are some tips from an anxiety therapist that works with college students:
Consider the Connection Between Your Thoughts, Feelings & Actions
The CBT triangle (which explains the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviors) can be really helpful in understanding anxiety. It comes from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is a well-researched and effective treatment for anxiety disorders.
In short, your thoughts impact how you feel. For example, if you're thinking "I'm going to embarrass myself if I go out tonight," you're likely to feel really anxious about going out. These anxious feelings then lead to certain behaviors, such as avoiding the event altogether.
How to Use the CBT Triangle to Combat Anxiety
So, one thing you can do when you notice that you're feeling anxious about a social situation is to check in with your thoughts. Are you thinking things like "I'm not good enough," or "Everyone is going to judge me?" If so, those thoughts are likely impacting how you feel and what you do.
Try asking yourself, is there another way I can think about this situation that might result in me feeling less anxious? For example, "Everyone is going to judge me" could become "I don't need to be friends with everyone, and chances are at least one other person there will be as anxious as I am.”
Be Kind to Yourself
Recognizing that you have to give yourself the benefit of the doubt can be really helpful in managing social anxiety. When you're anxious, it's easy to believe the worst about yourself and think that everyone else is judging you harshly too.
However, it's important to remember that people are usually not as focused on you as you think they are. And, even if they were judging you, chances are they would be much more forgiving than you realize. So cut yourself some slack and try not to be so hard on yourself.
This kind of goes back to the previous tip. The more harsh your self talk is, the more anxious you're likely to feel.
Treat Yourself the Way You Would Treat a Friend
One trick I like to offer clients here is to ask yourself what you would say to a friend in the same situation. For example, if your friend came to you and said "I'm so nervous about going to that party tonight," what would you say?
Chances are you would be much more understanding and supportive than you are of yourself. So try to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion.
Avoid Avoiding
It can be really tempting to just avoid social situations that make you anxious. But, as I mentioned before, avoidance only makes things worse in the long run.
The good news is that the more you face your fears, the less anxious you'll feel about them. So, even though it might be scary, it's important to push yourself out of your comfort zone just a little bit at a time.
Of course, you don't want to jump in head first and put yourself in a situation that's way too anxiety-provoking. But, take small steps.
For example, if you're anxious about going to a party, maybe start by just attending for an hour instead of the whole night. Or, if you're anxious about talking to people, maybe start by striking up a conversation with the cashier at your favorite coffee shop.
Set Realistic Social Goals for Yourself
One final tip is to set realistic social goals for yourself. Oftentimes, people with social anxiety tend to either avoid social situations altogether or put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect when they do interact with others.
Neither of these are helpful. So, instead, try to set realistic goals for yourself.
If you're going to a party, maybe your goal is to just talk to one new person. Or, if you're giving a presentation, maybe your goal is to just make it through without having a complete panic attack.
Small goals like these are much more attainable and, as a result, will help you feel more successful. You can always build on the small steps later. But for now? Celebrate your success.
Your Social Anxiety Won't go Away Overnight
Remember, coping with social anxiety takes time and practice. Your anxiety likely developed over many years and, as a result, it will likely take some time to manage it.
But, if you're patient with yourself and practice stepping just a little bit out of your comfort zone at a time, you will see improvement.
In the meantime if you need some extra support, consider reaching out to an anxiety therapist that works with college students.
Reach Out to an Anxiety Therapist that Works with College Students in San Antonio, TX
If you're struggling with social anxiety and would like some additional support, consider reaching out to an anxiety therapist. Here at Monarch Behavioral Health, we have several therapists that specialize in treating anxiety and work with many college students.
If you’re interested in beginning therapy, you can follow these steps:
Contact our therapy office and learn more about our services and how therapy can help you
Meet with one of our anxiety therapists that specializes in working with young adults
Learn how to manage your social anxiety so you can have a great college experience. For more information, contact us or call 210.384.1254.