How to Support a Grieving Child During the Holidays
Your family has experienced a loss, and you’re worried about your child during the holidays.
During this special time of the year, families come together. People everywhere partake in joyful activities and family traditions. But, when a loss has occurred, grief can overshadow these merry moments. Warm memories also serve as a painful reminder of what’s gone.
Younger children may struggle to understand where their special person has gone.
They may also find it hard to understand why they won’t be partaking in family traditions and get-togethers. Older children and teens may not feel up for celebrating at all because it is too painful. In both age groups, parents and caregivers may notice more behavioral issues. These may be a result of children struggling to process the trauma they’ve experienced.
As skilled child counselors, we have extensive experience working with children who have dealt with trauma. So we’re often asked, “how do I help my child process their grief during the holidays?”
Today, we want to offer some support and suggestions for helping your child or children honor the person they’ve lost. We hope you and your family can enjoy the merriment of the season.
First things first, it’s key to acknowledge the fact that losing a loved one is traumatic.
Most children do not grieve the same way adults do. Children show grief in a variety of ways including:
Sadness and depression
Crying
Irritability
Behavioral outbursts
Isolation
School or activity refusal
Anxiety (especially separation anxiety)
Nightmares
Bedwetting or toileting accidents
Changes in eating habits
This behavior is a very normal trauma response. But it can be hard for you to watch them, especially if you too are grieving. Do your best not to overreact or assume the worst. This can often increase your child’s symptoms and make them more upset. Likewise, don’t take it personally. You’re doing nothing wrong. This is how they move through the stages of grief.
Remember and honor your loss
It’s important to honor your loss in a way that fees meaningful for you and your family. Ignoring it is tempting, especially when you’re hurting. But, that often makes things worse and magnifies the loss even more.
Instead, look for special ways to honor your loved one this time of year. It may be cooking their favorite food, doing their favorite holiday activity, watching their favorite holiday movie, or looking at photos and telling stories.
They may be no longer physically present in your life. But, they still plan an important role in your family. You don’t have to move on, but it is ok to move forward when you’re ready.
Get creative!
A fun and hands-on way to remember your loved one is to do a craft to honor them. One we enjoy doing with children in our clinic is making a scrapbook or memory box.
You’ll find that as you do this with your child you both receive a chance to talk about the person you’ve lost. This gives you time to reminisce on times you spent together. Plus, it’s a tangible thing that can be taken out anytime tough feelings arise.
Read Together
Reading books about grief can help children process the trauma they have experienced. This is especially helpful for younger children.
If you have the chance, you can make a book together. All you need is a notebook, photos, and some coloring supplies! Have your children illustrate the story or use pictures. Then, help them write out the story they’re trying to tell.
Get Support from a Child Therapist for Grief Counseling
If your child has experienced loss, it can be very helpful to work with a child therapist. They have the skillset to help them process their thoughts and emotions. This is true even if your child is not showing signs of distress.
At our San Antonio counseling clinic, our child therapists use play therapy techniques to help your child heal. So, they may do things like:
Play games
Use manipulatives and figurines to tell a story
Read together
Do art projects
Use sand to both learn more about your child’s emotional state and teach them tools to cope with distress.
Our therapists will also work with you and your child’s caregivers. We will offer behavior management techniques to you help your child during tough moments.
Begin Grief Counseling in San Antonio, TX
It can be difficult to experience the holidays after the passing of a loved one. Our team of therapists understands this pain. We have supported many clients as they work through their grief. We offer support from our San Antonio, TX-based therapy practice. To start your therapy journey, please follow these steps:
2. Meet a caring therapist for a free 15-minute consultation
3. Start grief counseling, for more information, contact us or call 210.384.1254.