How to Support Your Teen as They Navigate Their Sexual Identity: Advice From an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist
If your teen has just come out to you, congratulations! This can be a difficult process for them, and it's great that they feel comfortable enough to talk to you. As a parent it's important that you put your child first and learn how to be their champion.
However, it's not always easy to know what that looks like and how best to support your teenager while still giving them independence to explore their identity. In this blog we will be giving our advice on how you can support your teen as they navigate their journey, and information on how therapy can help.
First, Recognize Your Teen for Being Able to Talk About This With You
Your teen has likely spent a lot of time thinking about their identity before they were able to talk to you about it. They might have questioned whether they should come to you, and may have been worried about your reaction. So the first thing that you can do to support your teen is simply recognize that this is a big moment for them.
It takes a lot of self confidence, self awareness, and bravery to be able to talk about this with you. It also takes a lot of trust in you for them to come to you with this information. So it's important that you validate their trust by letting them know that you support and love them just as they are.
Express Your Support and Acceptance of Your Teen
An important part of supporting your teenager is expressing your support. It may seem obvious to you that you support them, but they might not know that. Let them know that you are their biggest supporter by expressing your love and acceptance of them. Tell them that you will always support them and be there for them.
Remember That You Don't Have to Understand to Support Them
If you are not part of the LGBTQ+ community, it's important to remember that you don't have to fully understand someone to love and support them. Just because you can't relate to their experience, doesn't mean that you can't be there for them. The most important thing is that they know you are an ally and that they can count on you.
If you or your child's other parent were raised in an environment that wasn’t supportive of LGBTQ+ identities, it can be difficult to unlearn those beliefs. But it's important that you take time to educate yourself and gain understanding. You can be honest with your child about this. You can tell them that you are learning and growing along with them, and that you are committed to being their ally.
Educate Yourself on LGBTQ+ Topics
If you want to be the best supporter for your LGBTQ+ teen, it's important that you educate yourself on LGBTQ+ topics. This is going to largely depend on your current knowledge of and understanding of different LGBTQ+ experiences. If you are struggling to understand your teen's identity, you may want to read more about what bisexuality is or what it means to be transgender for example. Or, you may learn more about the gender binary and different pronouns.
You can ask your teen for their perspective, but they shouldn't have to carry the burden of educating you, so it's important that you are also able to find other resources too. There are many great online resources, books, and articles that can help you learn more about LGBTQ+ identities and experiences.
Reading this blog (or our other blogs) are a great first step!
Know That Coming Out as LGBTQ+ is a Journey and Not Simply a Destination
One important aspect of LGBTQ+ identity to understand is that it's often a journey and not simply a destination. Your teen may come to you confident about their identity, or they may be open about the fact that they are still exploring their identity and may not know where they fall on the LGBTQ+ spectrum yet.
They might also come to you down the road and let you know that they have realized that they actually fall somewhere else on the spectrum. Or, that they have come to understand a different aspect of their identity. For example, they may have identified as gay but later come to understand that they are bisexual. It's important to remember that this is normal and doesn't invalidate their previous experiences. Sexuality and gender identity are fluid concepts, which means that they can change over time.
This doesn't mean that their experience is "simply a phase" or "just a choice". They are young and their experience and understanding of themselves may change. It's important to respect their identity and experience, regardless of how it changes over time.
Consider Therapy for You and/or Your LGBTQ+ Teen
Lastly, you may want to consider additional support for your teen or yourself!
Navigating your identity can be a really challenging process, especially for a teenager. Therapy can offer your teen a safe space to process their feelings and experiences without fear of judgement. Working with an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist can also provide your teen with support as they learn more about their identity and how they want to express themselves. And, therapy is also a great resource for teens who are struggling with mental health challenges and just want to see a therapist that understands their identity.
However therapy isn't just a great tool for teens. It can also be incredibly useful for parents too. If you need guidance or perspective on how you can support your child through this journey, you may want to consider working with a therapist yourself. Parenting counseling can provide you with the tools and resources you need to be the best parent you can be.
Begin Working With an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist in San Antonio, Texas
Being a teen is hard. And exploring your identity in a world that isn't always understanding or supportive of the LGBTQ+ community can be especially challenging. As a parent, it's important that you learn how to best support your child. This may include seeking therapy services that are LGBTQ+ affirming, or parenting counseling.
An LGBTQ+ affirming therapist can help you and your child navigate this journey together in a safe and supportive environment. Our therapists are here to help you and your teen navigate these waters and figure out the best path forward.
At Monarch Behavioral Services, we offer in person services at our office in San Antonio and online therapy to anyone living within the state of Texas. If you're interested in learning more about our services or getting set up with one of our therapists, you can follow these steps:
Fill out our contact form and schedule your first appointment
Meet with one of our LGBTQ+ affirming therapists in person or online
Get support from our team as you and your teen navigate this journey
We'll be with you every step of the way! For more information, contact us or call 210.384.1254.