How To Support Your Transgender Child
Your child may come to you and told you they are transgender. You’re shocked and confused but know you want to be supportive, in whatever way you do that. It may make sense when looking at the past, or it may not.
Your reaction and feelings around having a transgender child are valid. You had a vision of what your child's life would look like and now it’s got jumbled up. You’re worried about your child's safety and wonder if they’ll ever get married or have kids. What does this mean for their future?
The truth is, your transgender child can have a long, successful, beautiful life. Being transgender doesn’t limit their ability to get married or have kids someday. It instead may look different than you expected it to.
Mental health issues are associated with being transgender. But, it’s not because there is something wrong with being transgender. The more support a transgender child has, the less likely they are to deal with mental health issues. So, as a parent, there are some steps you can take to be supportive of your transgender kid.
How do I support my child as I work through this myself?
Respect your child's name and pronouns
The easiest and best way to support your child is to use the correct name and pronouns. It might be difficult at first, but with time you’ll get used to it and adjust. It seems big now, but as you get used to them it will become easier.
According to research done by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin, transgender youth between ages 15 and 21 who could use their chosen name at school, home, work, and with friends experienced 71 percent fewer symptoms of severe depression. What's more, their risk of suicide decreased a tremendous amount.
It may seem like a small affirmation. But, as you can see, using the correct name and pronouns can be lifesaving for transgender youth!
Ask questions
Transgender individuals are not a monolith. They all have different experiences and ways of viewing themselves. Some fit into the gender binary and others do not. Ask your child questions about how they identify. And, what being transgender means to them. Some transgender people identify as a man or woman, and others identify using other terms. So, ask questions and educate yourself! Don’t expect your child to educate you, do your research, and learn as you go! Good resources to start with are transequality.org and attending PFLAG San Antonio meetings.
Don’t make assumptions
It’s easy to make assumptions about your transgender child's wants or needs in regards to transition. But, it’s also important to let your kiddo go at their own pace. Some kids are ready to transition on a medical and social way right away. But, others want to take their time. Or, they might want to transition in a medical way before they transition in a social way.
How do I navigate coming out as the parent of a transgender child?
Being the parent of a transgender child comes with some challenges. For example, you have to navigate coming out as your child also figures it out. Sometimes it’s in your best interest to not disclose that your child is transgender, and other times it is best to disclose and let people know. You get to decide if, when, and how you come out as the parent of a transgender child. The important thing is to show your child support. This means using the right name and pronouns with the people whom you and your child agree to use with.
Parent Counseling San Antonio, TX for Parents of Transgender Children
Navigating a child coming out as transgender is big, and you will have feelings and even grief. It is common for parents to feel like they are losing a part of their child and go through a time of mourning. It’s not that you lost a child, it’s that your child is finding who they are and working to live authentic way. It’s ok to feel how you feel, but to best support your child, therapy plays an important role. Having a safe person to talk through all the big feelings about the transition can have a tremendous impact on your mental health. And, the ability to support your child.
You love your child and want what's best for them. You only need some support on this journey. Consider therapy at Monarch Behavioral Health to help you navigate this big step your child is taking.
Begin Parent Counseling in San Antonio, TX
You deserve support in navigating this transition. Our team of therapists would be happy to offer support from our San Antonio, TX-based practice. We can help equip you with the tools to support your child. To start your counseling journey, please follow these simple steps:
Meet with a caring therapist
Start addressing your issues in adult counseling. For more information, contact us or call 210.384.1254.